When you or a friend move away it can seem like your friendship is over. I can say that after moving three years ago most of my friendships are stronger than they ever could have been when I lived a few minutes away. Why? Because me and my friends were forced to prioritize each other. We had to carve out time and find things we still could do together. And most importantly of all we had to do this our selves instead of just having our mom's schedule something. This is critical because in doing all this we ended up making more time for each other than we ever would have spent together in the first place. For example, before I moved my best friend and I spent a few hours together once or twice a month. Now we spend about an hour on the phone every week. We also write letters back and forth. And we are closer than ever.
Here are some key things to think about when starting out. This can be when you or a friend move or if you are trying to get back in touch with someone.
- Find your thing. Finding some thing that works for both of you is important, but it can be tricky at first. Your thing could be as simple or complex as you want so long as you both enjoy it. Phone calls are a great option though in the beginning they may be a little awkward. Letter writing is good to as long as it is consistent. Be creative, think outside the box, whatever your thing is let it be a way to connect you and your friend. You may find you have different "things" with different people, that is normal, everyone is different so just find what works for you.
- Make the time. Once you find what works you need the time to do it. Setting a consistent time every week is very helpful, especially at first. Set a reminder, write it down, do whatever it takes to remember. Then as you get into the habit it will get easier. Even then it is best to keep a set time so you don't start to get out of habit.
- Stick to it. This is the most important thing I can say. It is so easy to become complacent and to start to neglect the relationship, especially when the things right in front of you seem like a higher priority, but by not making your friend important you put them on the back burner and that can hurt, so don't do it. We are all busy and it is inevitable that you have to miss something sometime but when you do try to let them know ahead of time, it's the same as you would do when canceling a get together with a friend.
So these are the basic steps to starting a long distance relationship that will last. Remember that it really is about finding a way to keep in touch that will work for you.
Here are some key things to think about when starting out. This can be when you or a friend move or if you are trying to get back in touch with someone.
- Find your thing. Finding some thing that works for both of you is important, but it can be tricky at first. Your thing could be as simple or complex as you want so long as you both enjoy it. Phone calls are a great option though in the beginning they may be a little awkward. Letter writing is good to as long as it is consistent. Be creative, think outside the box, whatever your thing is let it be a way to connect you and your friend. You may find you have different "things" with different people, that is normal, everyone is different so just find what works for you.
- Make the time. Once you find what works you need the time to do it. Setting a consistent time every week is very helpful, especially at first. Set a reminder, write it down, do whatever it takes to remember. Then as you get into the habit it will get easier. Even then it is best to keep a set time so you don't start to get out of habit.
- Stick to it. This is the most important thing I can say. It is so easy to become complacent and to start to neglect the relationship, especially when the things right in front of you seem like a higher priority, but by not making your friend important you put them on the back burner and that can hurt, so don't do it. We are all busy and it is inevitable that you have to miss something sometime but when you do try to let them know ahead of time, it's the same as you would do when canceling a get together with a friend.
So these are the basic steps to starting a long distance relationship that will last. Remember that it really is about finding a way to keep in touch that will work for you.
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